Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Love, Confidence, Girl Stuff :)

I am sure all you viewers have seen John Tucker Must Die, right?

Well, all of you know that Heather (Ashanti), says that the sexiest thing a cheerleader wears is her attitude. maybe not in those words exactly, but oh well. For this purpose, we shall say that and broaden it to just everyone.

What do you guys think the sexiest thing you can wear is?

Some say it's a smile, some show what they think by what they wear.

I think it's confidence. Who wants to be with someone omega insecure? Some people put on a facade of confidence and freak out inside. They can play like any other, and talk the talk, I know, because that's what I did way back in high school. Vulnerability becomes me when I am in a relationship with someone I actually care about. Rather than those relationships we hold on to just be close to someone.

But if you're like me, then turning the facade around is key to find the right people, and to accept who you are fully. I admit I am far from there, but I try.

Back when I went to modeling school, one of our assignments was to write a list of 10 things we loved about ourselves. It was kinda hard but here goes, (I still have my list 8 years later),

My eyes, my legs, my stomach, my lips, my calves, Pinkies, Smile. (Pinkies, cuz they rest of my fingers are bony and so they look really weird, to me at least. One pinky now isn't so straight sue to breaking it.) I know that's not 10 but well, when you're in 6th grade it's kinda an awkward phase.

Even still it's hard to finish, in my parents house we grew up demeaning eachother, and I was queen at that. I made my older sister and younger sister (8th grade now) cry alot. And in turn it would be turned back on me, and you know how it goes, brush it off, but think about it later, sometimes, and when you don't it just builds up and combined with every other negative though it just takes it's toll on you as the years go on. So I am a long way from accepting myself, but I try and have been getting closer.

Here are some tips to turning it around and accepting everything:

First how to love yourself from a website:

  • Treat others with love and respect
  • Random acts of kindness.
  • Express yourself, share your opinions.
  • Let go of the past. You deserve a fresh start. Acknowledge your feelings and work to move past them. Cherish what you have learned from them, how you have grown and changed. 
  • Forgive Yourself: Don't punish yourself, look at it as a lesson. Every day is a new beginning.
  • If you guys saw "How Do You Know" then you loved her sticky notes everywhere too full of reinforcements, do the same! around your bathroom mirror! On the walls, the fridge, wherever you will see it and be reminded of just how amazing you are and not to get down.
  • Move past material things! try to get past the object and get to the desire, and why you want it. DO you crave power, a motive, etc? It's too easy to keep what's right in front of us from our knowledge, and once you unlock it you can be better equipped to know yourself better, and hopefully be able to answer those difficult questions about yourself. 
  • Keep a journal - every thought is precious so collect them, good or bad, and allow yourself to feel them! Be Compassionate with your pain, it's not self pity, it just allows you to better acknowledge the pain and to let go. 
  • Be Persistent - Don't give up on yourself. Learn to love and accept yourself as you are,   A large part of love is accepting another "as is". This is no different for yourself—learn to love yourself "as is". Only after we've accepted themselves we might think about changing some less-than desirable characteristics."
  • Start working towards how and what you want to do and be - Be Positive! Never settle for anything, be the best you can be!
  • Don't give into labels, especially when it comes to labeling yourself - Celebrate your accomplishments. Remember success is not a destination, Success is making progress towards what you really want. Accept yourself, and others will follow. Remember you are not your appearance, bank balance, or your possessions. Just throw it out the window!
  • Show yourself some love!- Hug yourself, treat yourself, indulge every once in a while. 
  • Be Yourself - Don't be afraid to show who you really are. Only when you let go of pre-conceptions about appearance, singing skills, vanity, then you find common ground and your true friends.
  • Haters Gonna Hate, Let Them! - Don't let the world get you down. Chances are they probably have the same problem as you and haven't yet found their center.
  • Trust yourself - Don't listen to what everyone says and follow your intuition and what you know is right. Learn to trust in you.
  • Practice Receiving Love, Sometimes that's the hardest part - To truly love also means being able to receive it. Embrace people's kindness, their good deeds and compliments. Allow yourself to feel that love, and know you are loved, and can be. It's important to receive love from others, so you know you are lovable. Practice saying I love you to yourself and let it fill you, receive the love you give yourself unconditionally. 
  • It's OK to say no - It's OK, you don't have to feel guilty, Not everything is worth doing. If you really want to do it, and it's out of love then obviously, that's different. You can't commit to everyone, and don't let anyone drag you down for your decision.
  • Do what you love - Once you find something you enjoy doing and can spend time doing it then you can experience love, joy, and happiness.Those are the moments when you connect with your true self, and in turn love more and become happier.
  • Treat yourself like you would your best friend - Not the one that you joke around about being a whore though, LOL. Listen to yourself, trust, be kind, attend as dutifully as you would those near and dear to you.
  • Nurture yourself - Taking care of yourself is key to succeed. Set up time just by yourself, and do something that gives you peace, love, and joy. Mentally: Reading, Puzzles. Spiritually: Praying, Meditating. Physically: Dancing to your fave tunes, Exercising, eating healthy food. Emotionally: Listening to music, Cooking, Painting, Helping others. The more you give, the more you receive and feel better that your life has purpose. 
  • Stop comparing yourself to others - trust me, it gets you nowhere but into a tub of ice cream. Everyone is unique and has their own strengths so the only thing to do is find yours. Get to know yourself, and find what your gift to the world is. Also practice gratitude, be thankful for everything you have. Gratitude keeps you open to love
  • Stop trying to be perfect, no one is! - Stop criticizing yourself and strive to be the best that you can be. Not reaching perfection is not failure. Just keep these in mind and don't let anyone get you down.
Part two will be up tomorrow as to how to gain confidence. Then we will be back to our normal routine. I though we needed to cover these though as many of us girls have issues with it. Comment or email me if there is a topic you want covered.

Much Love,

Avg Girl

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